Puns from Papi: Celebrating Father’s Day

Hello! So, none of you probably noticed, but I took a break last week from blogging. I did this because… well, I already feel like these posts are becoming monotonous. I want this blog to become something unique, something that everyone can enjoy. Now, I don’t know exactly how to achieve this, but I will try my best.

Today is Father’s Day, and I just had to write something for all the amazing Dads out there. This time, though, I’m not listing reasons.

If you know me, you’ll know that I love puns. I have a whole list of them in the Notes app on my phone. And what are dads best known for? (Besides using a combined shampoo-conditioner-body wash and rocking every facial hair style imaginable.) That’s right! DAD PUNS!

Here are my top 10 best dad puns:

1. “What do you call a fake noodle? AN IMPASTA!!!!”

2. “Did you see that movie about constipation?” “No..” “Probably because it never came out!”

3. “What do you call a cow that twitches? Beef jerky!”

4. “How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!”

5. Waitress: “Do you want a box for that?” Dad: “No, but I’ll wrestle you for it!”

6. “What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey!”

7. *reverses the car* “Ahh, this takes me back…”

8. “Be careful standing near those trees.” “Why?” “They look kind of shady to me.”

9. “How did Moses make his tea? Hebrew it!!”

And finally, the classic:

10. “I’m hungry.” “Hi Hungry, I’m Dad!”

Happy Father’s Day to all the super punny dads out there! 

Love you bunches! ‚̧

~Vannah Smalley

Thank you BuzzFeed, PopSugar and Mashable for these great jokes!

FBAWTFT Update: Guys. 515 days. IM SO EXCITED! Oh, and filming is rumored to start in August!!

Being Lazy is Haaard

Hi y’all! This week I’m writing my blog post on my phone at a reasonable time! Wow! Summer has changed me…but maybe not for the better. 

You may have noticed that these past few blog posts have mostly been pictures and little captions with minimum writing input of my own. The reason for that is… extremely hard to talk about, but.. I want you all to know, so..*sniff*.. I am diagnosed with a disease called…


I know, I know. It was shocking for me, too. After years of staying in bed until 2 pm and refusing to take showers for days, I finally decided to recognize my problem. 

Laziness, also known as couch potato-itis, affects millions around the world, specifically in the United States. Symptoms include, but are not limited to:

-an overwhelming desire to remain in bed all day, night, fortnight, century, etc.

-dismissal of all invitations to social events

-reluctance to shower, exercise, and complete other daily activities 

-procrastination of school assignments and projects 

-tendencies to consume food and drink that is easily accessed instead of cooking

-neglect of all nerdy responsibilities such as updating blogs, fanfiction, and artwork (#writersblocklol)

This disease is not to be taken lightly. Laziness can affect overall state of health, social life, and/or intelligence in a matter of weeks. Extreme cases may lead to fatal outcomes… probably (not).

Here is a picture of a “lazy person” in their natural habitat:

Look how wild and majestic.

There is no cure for laziness yet, but many suggestions have been made to help recovery. Setting goals, alarms, and plans for each day is a common method for helping small cases. However, big couch potatoes, like me, are struggling to pull themselves from their comfy, dark caves of wifi and junk food. 

With little inspiration and no motivation, my laziness is keeping me from finishing this blog. 

Please, help lazy people around the world stand up and go outside. Otherwise, the Puritans will hang them for idleness (I had to make that APUSH joke hahahhahahhaha).

And, in an effort to cure my disease, I’m going to leave my house and attend a social event with my friends.

(Just kidding! I’m going to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race and eat an entire box of oatmeal creme pies!)

Bye! Love you bunches!

~Vannah Smalley

P.S. Happy Birthday Emily! ūüíď

FBAWTFT Update: 530 days. I was too lazy to put an exclamation point.

My Goals for Summer 2017


Okay, okay. I’ll stop. You guys know I’m a huge¬†High School Musical¬†freak.

So, I’m officially out for summer break! Yay! This school year was absolutely wonderful, but I am in desperate need of a break, and it has finally arrived. Normally, I don’t have a lot planned for the summer months, but this year my calendar is overflowing with things to do. And I’m super excited for it.

So, as a way to keep track of all the things I want to accomplish in the next 2 and ¬Ĺ¬†months, I thought I’d make a list. But I’ve been told that pictures capture a person’s attention more effectively, ¬†and I want ALL of the attention. And I like to make people laugh, so….

My Goals for Summer 2017… told through stock photos.


Image result for stock photos laugh        Image result for stock photos singing

  Image result for stock photos dancing

Image result for stock photos friends Image result for stock photos watch movies

Image result for stock photos explore  

Image result for stock photos camera Image result for stock photos weird

   Image result for stock photos weird

Image result for stock photos weird Image result for stock photos bad makeup

Image result for stock photos weird   Image result for stock photos shopping

Image result for stock photos weird Image result for stock photos weird

Okay, clearly I won’t be sniffing a flip-flop during the summer, but I just couldn’t not put that in. If you’re ever feeling sad, just type in “weird stock photos,” and I guarantee you’ll laugh at at least one of them. I mean


Image result for stock photos weird

WHAT EVEN???!?!?!?!? 

Anyways, I’m sorry that this post is complete effortless crap, but I didn’t feel up to writing much today… I jUST WANTED TO WATCH NETFLIX, OKAY? SUE ME.

Also, I figured it’d be nice to set some (mostly) realistic goals to accomplish in the summer. Even if they’re explained in a very silly way.

Thank you guys for reading my posts; I really do appreciate it. I’ve received extremely positive feedback from a few of you- mainly my mom- and it just lights a creative fire in my heart to know that you’re enjoying my work.

If that’s ¬†‚ÜĎ ¬†what you call work.

I love you…guess how much? Yeah…¬†bunches!

~Vannah Smalley

FBAWTFT Update: 537 DAYS! In the three days that I’ve been released from school, I have read quite a few Newtina fanfics that I very much enjoyed. I just have to recommend one author: amandasarmada. She’s written a couple stories and one-shots, and the characters are all captured so perfectly.. it makes my heart flutter. By the time I write my next blog post, I will probably have read a ton more. Oh, and I found the cutest little stickers on the iMessage store for¬†Fantastic Beasts:¬†

Literally the most precious thing I’ve ever seen. Download it immediately!

Okay, goodbye! ‚̧

SophoMORE year is no MORE!

You like my clever title? It surprisingly didn’t take three hours to come up with!

Hello again! I’m back to my normal Saturday schedule (if I can get this post up before midnight.. Update: I didn’t). So, this upcoming Wednesday is the last day of my sophomore year, and I’m pretty sad about it. This year was super hard for me in so many ways… mostly because of APUSH, but also because of my house fire, my dad getting sick, etc., yet I still loved every minute of it. I feel like I made so many new friends, and I somehow kept up my grades, and I got my license and a car, and I became obsessed with¬†Fantastic Beasts! Honestly, the highlight of my life is becoming obsessed with that movie.

Anyways, I thought we could look back on the year with a series of photos containing me and my friends. However, for security purposes, I’m going to blur out all faces except for mine (if I get sex trafficked b/c of my blog, it’s my own fault. but i ain’t dragging my friends down with me)

*Looking at it after I’ve finished, it just looks like I’m really self-absorbed…OH WELL.

June 2016

-My dad, my sister, and I went to New Orleans for ONE day! It was really, really tiring but SUPER FUN!!!


Me trying to get a pic with a swimming penguin. What an idiot
We rode over on a ferry to get to the Audubon Aquarium, Zoo, and Insectarium. All of the animals were super cute, especially the adorable otter and kind of depressed frog.

We also went on a ghost tour where I witnessed an actual ghost orb!!! Someone contact Shane Dawson!!!!

I’m a straight-up Ghostbuster, man.

-Then, I got to go to Melbourne, Florida, and volunteer to help community organizations and see my mission trip friends again. And visit the beach and Orlando Studios, too!


Ignore the complete derp face I’m making

July 2016

-I got to see Wicked¬†on tour, and it was the most magical thing I’ve ever experienced. I think I cried.


-And I played the part of Mrs. Gloop in Willy Wonka Jr. in a summer camp that we managed to put on in a week. It turned out pretty great!


August 2016

-Baby Tiddy had her 8th birthday party, which is very special b/c she was born on 08/08/08!


-Various friend stuff!!!




-And pretty soon after, school began!


Me holding up my hands to make a 10. wOW SO CLEVER

September 2016

-I went to see my friends act in Beauty and the Beast and loved it more than words. (The first of many plays that I saw this year.)

-I helped build the sophomore homecoming float (which my best friend designed). The theme was Dr. Seuss, so we dressed up as Cats-in-the-hat (?)

Her dab covered up her face, I didn’t even have to blur it out!

October 2016

-Cool friends, fun times, spoopy things.


I was a fox for Halloween. SO original, right?

November 2016

-Birthday month! Month that Fantastic Beasts came out! Basically the best month ever.

Okay, this is completely irrelevant, but I did my APUSH project on the Shakers, and I’m completely obsessed with them and thIS HAHAHHAHAHA

December 2016

-In the very first week of December, I played the role of “Santa’s Helper” in¬†Elf: the Musical, Jr. and it was just a blast! IT’S THE STORY OF *clap and kick* BUDDYYY THE ELF!


-Then my friend had a little Christmas/sendoff to Kentucky party for herself, and we got matching penguins from Madagascar buttons!


-Christmas and New Year’s with the fam and alcoholic beverages!



January 2017

-Anime conventions!! (Wow, such a nerd.) I met the voices of Steven and Pearl from Steven Universe, Zach Callison and DeeDee Magno Hall. I freaked out.



They’re famous, I don’t have to blur them out!!

February 2017

-Another play!¬†Snoopy the Musical. Peanut Kid #67. Dream role, obviously… uhm, no. But I did bond with some amazing people and missed FDR’s New Deal in APUSH!

March 2017

-Okay, the big one. Spring Break! Disney! Orlando Studios! Yay! (I gave up on blurring my family members, who cares about them anyways)


-AND THEN…. I fell in love with.. well, you know. ‚̧

April 2017


May 2017

-THE APUSH EXAM! AFTER THE APUSH EXAM! NOW! what’s the point of life anymore




And if you scrolled through this entire thing to see if I included your blurred face, congrats. You’re committed. I’m glad you love yourself that much. I love you, too.

There’s so many more pictures I could have used, but it’s 2 am, and I also may have deleted them all from my phone WHOOPS.

Thanks for reading! Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAYLIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ‚̧

Love you bunches!

~Vannah Smalley

FBAWTFT Update: 544 days!¬†Alien: Covenant¬†was released on Friday, and it has Katherine Waterston in it (Tina)! That’ll be the only reason I watch it. I love Newt! Goodnight!


13 Reasons Why Moms Are Awesome

Hello, everyone! Since today is Mother’s Day, I think it’s very appropriate for me to write a post of gratitude to all the beautiful moms out there. Especially mine. So here it is:

Wow! You’re a mom! What an accomplishment.. Seriously, I don’t think there could be any job that’s harder. You had to push an entire living being out of your body?? Then let it eat all your food and take all of your money for 18 years?? And THEN sometimes you do it again????? Why is there not a “Mom” superhero?

I think it’s because no comic strip or Marvel movie could capture the great responsibility it takes to be a mom… Although it would be great to get recognized sometimes, wouldn’t it? Well, I’m about to attempt it. (And include a pop-culture reference at the same time, too!)

13 Reasons Why Moms Are Awesome

  1. They can survive through nine months of grueling aches, pains, weight gain, vomiting, hormones, weird cravings, and every other side effect of carrying a tiny human inside their stomach. Not to mention everything that comes after.
  2. They can soothe any cry, change any diaper, scare any monster, and then some if ¬†it’s what their child needs.
  3. They give the best hugs and kisses. It doesn’t matter who you are, if you tell me you don’t love the feel of your mom’s butterfly kisses on your face, I will say you’re lying.
  4. They’ll listen to countless of hours of whining and crying without giving up on a well-deserved punishment. It’s hard being bad cop, dude.
  5. They clean up messes, do the laundry, cook meals, and go to work all in the same day. That’s a lot.
  6. They always see their child as beautiful/handsome no matter what they look like.
  7. When somebody hurts them, they brush it off. When somebody hurts their child… that person is going to die.
  8. They take their kids to every school function, every baseball game, every school play, and they watch them perform in it. And with wonder they think, “Wow, my kid is awesome.”
  9. They let their kid go out with friends even if they’re worried to death about whether or not they’ll come home and if they’re safe literally every second.
  10. They spend so much money on their kids. I’m talking¬†fortunes. And they do it because they want them to have the best life they can possibly have, with all their favorite toys and nice clothes.
  11. They tease their kid and embarrass them because they’re still their baby, no matter how old they get, and everyone needs to know that.
  12. They do all this while waiting for that day when their child leaves home and will no longer need all the things that their moms loved giving them their entire life. The day that they become a mom with a son/daughter who can take care of themselves.
  13. And despite all of it… They love their children unconditionally.

Now, of course, that’s just thirteen reasons why the¬†traditional mom is awesome. I have no way to tell what everyone’s moms are like, but I’m sure they’re all wonderful. However… I can tell you what my mom is like.

13 Reasons Why My Mom is Awesome

  1. She takes care of me and my sister at the¬†same time. That’s a chore in itself because we’re hard to handle.
  2. Not only is she a mom, but she’s also a nurse, which is¬†the¬†hardest job on the planet.
  3. She let me and my sister adopt all of our animals, and she loves them just as much as we do. Even though they’re extremely hard to take care of, she let us have them because we wanted them. And it was the right decision.
  4. She makes the BEST Angel Hair Pasta in the world. It may be out of the box, but it’s my favorite food of all time.
  5. She let’s me choose what I want to do. When I wanted to quit softball after four years of playing, she let me do it. When I wanted to start doing plays, she let me do it and she came to all of my performances.
  6. She tries her hardest to help me when I’m in need of something. If I leave a school project at home, all I have to do is text my mom and she’ll find a way to bring it to me. (Although it will probably be late getting there. ūüėõ )
  7. She listens to me when I have my rambling moments (for the most part). I will talk for hours upon hours and she’ll digest most of what I’m saying.
  8. When I have no idea what to do in a situation, I just call my mom and she’ll tell me everything I need to know. This goes for cooking, shopping for clothes, and getting through my anxiety.
  9. She is extremely funny. The way she reacts to things and how she acts silly around me and my friends.. ¬†it’s hard not to laugh at.
  10. Oh, and she loves all of my friends, too. She treats them like her own children, and they love her like she’s their own mom.
  11. She sees the good in everyone. She has never tried to put someone down for their bad behavior because she believes everyone should have a second chance.
  12. It doesn’t matter what I’ve done or what I’ve said, she’ll always tell me she loves me. Whether it’s through text with the kissy faces or on the phone before we hang up. Even when I was little, every night she’d tuck me into bed and tell me that she loves me “all the way to Neptune and back.”
  13. She has done more for me than I will ever be able to pay back. I could not give her all of the money and time she has spent on me in these 16 years even if I tried. I will be forever grateful for her raising me with such love in her heart and teaching me how to be a good person… and a great mom.

Mom, if you’re reading this, I’m so sorry for all the things you have to deal with because of me and Jordan. But you deal with it well, and that’s why I love you… I love you all the way to Neptune and back.


(Me and my beautiful mother ‚̧ )

Okay, that’s it! I hope you have a fantabulous Mother’s Day! Make sure to show your mom or your grandmother or aunt or your mother figure some love because they really do deserve it. I think everyone needs to start a Mom fan club so we can truly obsess over how awesome our moms are.

Also, I’m sorry for terrible grammar. I had to rush to get this done.

Love you bunches! ‚̧

~Vannah Smalley

FBAWTFT Update: 550 DAYS!!!!! I received my movie set in the mail and I’m absolutely in love with it. I watched the movie again last night but with the special features this time, and it blew my mind. So excited for them to start filming the sequel this summer!!!!

P.S. No, I haven’t watched 13 Reasons Why¬†yet… I just did it to be relevant.

(Creds to the Odyssey Online for the featured picture.)

Fantastic Beasts: Fanfiction, Eddie Redmayne, & More!

Hi, y’all!

Now, before I get into this wonderfully long post, I’ll update you a little bit on my predicament about the APUSH exam: I took it yesterday morning and, although it did not go as well as I had hoped it would, I think I did okay enough to receive a passing grade. The reason why it did not go well will probably be mentioned in another post- regarding anxiety- that can be written another week.  For now, I wanted something light-hearted and fun to cure post-test exhaustion. SO, let’s talk about the magical world of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them!

**Pretty sure I will be talking about many things that are considered to be spoilers, so if you haven’t watched the movie, I’d highly suggest you do. IT’S SO GOOD. PLEASE WATCH IT.**

The Fantastically Beautiful World of Fantastic Beasts

If you didn’t already know- which I have no idea how you couldn’t have- I am mesmerized, or, for better word, OBSESSED with the world of Fantastic Beasts. I have a countdown on my phone until the expected release date of the sequel, and a picture collage from Newt and Tina’s goodbye scene as my lock screen. (Not to mention that I watch that scene literally everyday, and I squeal just as loud as the first time I saw it.) I just ordered the set that includes the movie on Digital and BluRay DVDs as well as character trading cards, all boxed up in “Newt’s case” which, when opened, has a Niffler pop-up. Oh, and I’m listening to the movie’s soundtrack as I type these words. May I continue? Yes, I will.

I changed my specifically Captain Hook/Emma fan blog on Tumblr (last year’s obsession) into a Newt/Tina one, although I don’t make any original posts on there because I’m not very tech savvy… or creatively inclined. But, as you know, I do like to write, and I’ve tried writing a prologue to a possible fanfiction that I could work with in the future. Still, I’m not very creative when it comes to fictional stories, and I think that one-shots or short little imagines that appear into my head would flow better than a long-winded narrative.

So, yeah, you could say I’m obsessed. And there’s several reasons why.

The movie is set in 1920s New York, an extreme contrast to that of the British ’90s Harry Potter universe, since both the wizarding and human worlds are completely different in appearances, customs, and, most importantly, characters. While Harry Potter rarely focused on the world of Muggles at the time the story occurred, Fantastic Beasts revolves all around it, with the era of Prohibition and speakeasies, political campaigns, and the introduction of a very important Muggle- or should I say, No-Maj- Jacob Kowalski. And that’s what I think it gets its character from. It really doesn’t even need to include wizards and magical beasts to be magical at all. The vintage and eccentric costumes, rustic yet beautiful set design, and oh-so jazzy soundtrack truly defines the first Fantasic Beasts movie. And what I absolutely love about this series is that with each change of setting in the following four movies, the overall atmosphere will change as well. And I may not have been a person who was crazy over aesthetics before FBAWTFT, but I am now because of it. First, Roaring 20s New York jazz and flapper dresses. Next, Parisian caf√©s and even more jazz in the Ann√©es folles (the “crazy years” in French.) (Yes, I looked that up.)

One feature of this movie that I love and is quite similar to Harry Potter is the magic that puts stuff back in its place. If you’re a fan of the HP movies/books, you’ll remember the scene in Half-Blood Prince where Dumbledore brings Harry to that flat where Slughorn is (when he’s a chair), and they proceed to rearrange everything with their magic. Remember how satisfying that scene was? Yeah, well, they do that for like 5 minutes at the end of FBAWTFT. It’s heaven for neat freaks.

The creatures, which are CGI, are so incredibly detailed and cute and definitely one of my many favorite parts of the movie. The entire scene that introduces Newt’s shed and all of the habitats just leaves me in awe each time I watch it because it is so beautiful. If I had to pick a favorite creature.. it would obviously be Pickett. He’s precious, and I completely relate to getting attached to Newt. I like Dougal a lot, too.

But my absolute favorite thing, and I mean FAVORITE thing, is the way these characters are written and portrayed. It was expected that J.K. Rowling, the queen of everything, create unique and inspiring characters just as she did in Harry Potter. I did not expect to fall in love with all of them.


1.  Jacob Kowalski (the most awesome pal): a kind No-Maj who works at canning factory but aspires to run his own bakery. Jacob is the person who everyone wants to befriend. He is loyal to those he cares about and can find the good in a situation, even one where he has to give everything up. His goofy demeanor and amusing one-liners keep me grinning throughout the entire movie. Plus, he bakes!


2. Credence Barebone (the most innocent child): a poor and abused orphan teenager that turns out to be (SPOILER) the Obscurus which is causing havoc in NYC. He ends up being “destroyed” by the MACUSA aurors at the end of the movie (or does he?) because he wrecked the city once he found out Graves only pretended to be his friend for his power. But listen… CREDENCE ONLY WANTED LOVE. WHY DID THAT POOR BABY NOT GET WHAT HE DESERVED??!! #ProtectCredence


3. Queenie Goldstein (the most supportive and sweet sister): literally the most beautiful woman alive. Like ever. She’s Tina’s younger sister who has a fondness for pink silk and baking strudels. Need I say more? Oh, and she’s a Legilimens, which means she can read minds. But she does it with a melodious giggle and feathery voice that makes everything she says seem innocent. I’m in love. And so is Jacob.


4. Porpentina/Tina Goldstein (the most spunky career girl): the ambitious Auror that catches Newt Scamander and his crazy creatures. She tries to turn them into MACUSA, but Madam Picquery does not listen to her since she lost her job due to a confrontation with Credence’s abuser. Yes, she lost her job saving the innocent child. My wonderful hero. She is passionate and adorkable and sassy and has the cutest pajamas you’ve ever seen in your life. How could you not love her? I do. And so does….


5. Newton Artemis Fido Scamander (the most precious cinnamon roll magizoologist): AKA the actual love of my life. Newt is a shy introvert that prefers to spend his time studying magical creatures instead of spending time with other humans. He’s timid and polite and British and has the strangest eyes and lips I’ve ever seen, but I have never loved anyone or anything more. He calls himself “mummy” when talking to his creatures and if that ain’t husband material idk what is. And despite being completely in love with him, I am also in love with him and Tina together. #Newtina

Which moves me onto my next topic..



As soon as I really got into this obsession, I went straight to the fanfiction, which was a bad decision at the time because I had an overwhelming amount of APUSH homework. Now, with APUSH over and not much else to do, I’m so excited to jump into every story and one-shot I can find on Archive of Our Own, fanfiction.net, and, heck, even Wattpad.

Here are some great fics that I’ve read and recommend:

A Very Decent Man : continuation of plot after first movie. First one I read and by far the best.

A Most Magical Creature : also a continuation. Still, very good.

Back on the Map : a more recent and short AU about them meeting at an airport. Extremely well written and I love it.

I clearly haven’t read enough.

There are so many things I love about Newt and Tina together. I could literally go on and on, but I’ll only tell you a few reasons.

I love how…

  • ..they’re sort of opposites. Newt is a loner magizoologist that will do anything to defend his creatures, including breaking the law. Tina’s a real defender of the people, an Auror, who would never think of breaking the law if she didn’t deem it justified.
  • ..they don’t fall into the typical couple stereotype. Newt is anything but flirtatious and upfront about his feelings. I mean, he doesn’t even kiss her when he leaves, for God’s sake! And Tina is such a strong and independent woman; she could never need any man to save her…Except for that one time that Newt did.. Still.
  • .. Newt is absolutely the perfect gentleman for Tina. He’s polite and careful of his actions, a complement to  Tina’s passion and fierceness. (The thing I’m so. freaking. excited. for is the moment when/if Newt tentatively asks if he can kiss her. I will melt into a pool of happiness.)
  • ..Tina is absolutely the perfect human companion to Newt. She doesn’t intrude without considering his feelings first, and she understands and accepts the love he has for his creatures. Newt is so broken after his experience with Leta, and Tina is the one who shows him what unselfish love feels like. After all…



(notice Tina walking up in the back :3 )

And finally..

  • ..they get married, have a son, and live with three pet Kneazles named Hoppy, Milly, and Mauler. Could they possibly get any cuter???

Needless to say, I will be extremely disappointed if Jo doesn’t include a Newtina wedding in one of the other FOUR movies. Yeah, I’ll probably sue.

Fantastic Actors …and Where to Find Them?

Fantastic Beasts could not have been as good as it was without the terrific characterization by both Rowling and all of the cast. So, here’s me freaking out over them:

I had seen Eddie Redmayne in maybe one movie before this, and it was Jupiter Ascending… so my opinion of him wasn’t too great. Then, the trailer for FBAWTFT came out, and I thought Hey, he isn’t too bad looking. Maybe it’ll be good. And boy was I right. I remember watching the movie in the theaters with my friend and slowly becoming more accustomed to Newt’s hunched frame and tall, lanky figure. As I’ve already said before, a few months passed before I watched it the second time and truly fell in love with Newt’s awkwardness. Then I started noticing more and more details about how Eddie portrays Newt that really just make him who he is- the obviously hunched back, the reluctance to make eye or skin contact, ducking down into his chest when feeling sheepish, and so many other small details that Eddie considers when he’s Newt. Plus, he does it with other movies, too. He becomes the character. And I just love, love, LOVE him for it. Thank Merlin for him. It’s so funny to watch cast interviews and see how he actually acts as a real person. He’s so bubbly and outgoing, which is still super adorable to me.

Katherine Waterston, who plays Tina, is just perfect for her role as well. She’s so incredibly beautiful and kind- from what I can tell from interviews- and I love the friendship that her and Eddie have together. I don’t think that anyone could have ever bested her in playing such a cute and determined career girl. Alison Sudol (Queenie) and Dan Fogler (Jacob) bring such light fun to the movie, and they have great chemistry on and off screen. (And no one could put a candle to Alison’s beauty, of course.) Credence’s actor, Ezra Miller, has always been a favorite of mine after his performance in The Perks of Being a Wallflower, which was my favorite movie for the longest time. He’s so wild and energetic in real life, a huge contrast to sad and smol Credence.

Also, I’m really excited about Jude Law playing young Dumbledore, and I cannot wait to see how he brings someone we know so well to life! As for Callum Turner as Theseus, the similarities in appearance are already astounding me. Hopefully, Callum can portray Newt’s brother, the war hero, just as I expect him to be- obnoxious  and self-absorbed. And Johnny Depp.. I love you, but I hate you for Grindelwald.

Thanks to them for bringing such a wonderful thing to life and making this entire experience so magical for me. People don’t give them nearly enough credit that they deserve for pretending those CGI creatures are really there. I mean, I can’t stop laughing at the behind-the-scenes look of Eddie and Dan scurrying around after a “Niffler”. It’s hilarious, go watch it!


This is monstrously long. Probably because I spent like 5 hours writing it. And I completely enjoyed it.

I don’t blame you if you skipped through this, especially if you don’t care for Fantastic Beasts. But I recommend that you start because it is a fantastic franchise that everyone should love….If I say it’s an American version of Harry Potter will you watch it? (It’s not, lol.)

Finally, since this is a FBAWTFT post, I will update you on the time until the sequel (And since it is already past 12 am by the time I post this, it is from May 7th): 1 year + 6 months + 1 week + 1 day or 18 months + 1 week + 1 day or 557 days + 23 hours or 13, 392 hours + 31 minutes or 803,550 minutes + 45 seconds or 48,213,000 seconds! I prefer to just go by the days, though, so 557 days! And now I look like a psychopath.

Thank you so much for reading! Love you as much as Pickett loves Newt! (It’s equivalent to bunches.)

Vannah Smalley ‚̧

GIF and Pic Creds to: Nerdist.comTeen.comDaily Fantastic Beasts GifsNewt-X-Tina

P.S. I drafted this for in the morning actually, cause I don’t want you guys to miss this post ! (Though im pretty sure no one will read it.)



Anxious Apprehension About AP Exams

I’m sorry this post is so late, but I went to go see¬†High School Musical¬†(a school production of it) and it slayed my entire existence. When asked the infamous “What team?” question, I screamed a scream so loud and guttural it sounded like a middle-aged man. Yeah, I could write an entire post about how obsessed I am with¬†the franchise. And I probably will.

So, in less than 6 days now, I will be taking the AP United States History exam… and I’m absolutely terrified. Even though I feel pretty confident about the knowledge I’ve learned in the class, just thinking about the exam shakes me to the core because of my anxiety. I cannot keep my cool when I’m taking a test. And then about halfway through my bladder randomly decides that I have to pee, so that just makes me even more jittery.

I take my time during tests because I want to make sure I give every question my best attempt at answering. For multiple choice, I almost always finish just before time is up. Writing, however, is really difficult for me because I have to make everything perfectly worded and structured but also completely accurate to history. Most of the time I fail all together.

Of course, I’ve been anxious with other important tests throughout the school year, but it has never built up this bad before. I’m scared that I’ll be given the DBQ prompt about Reconstruction or the Great Depression (which I’m terrible at), and I’ll just faint right in my chair, or puke, or pee on myself. ¬†Or all of the above. Probably all of the above.

AP exams are just really, really scary when you think about it. You take a class for an entire year and you get grades for all your tests and such, but it all leads up to that one final exam made by a company, not your teacher. Once you take it, it’s over. That’s it. And sure, you just have to make a three to get a passing grade but being an honors student means you’re expected to score higher or even the highest mark. Yeah… I’m really stressed about it.

Plus, I have absolutely no idea how to study for it. I wish I could say that I’ve been preparing for months, reviewing all of my notes everyday and responding to all the DBQ and LEQ prompts on the College Board website. Well, I have been… within the past week. Now, with only a few days left, I am running out of time and sanity and I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

Here’s a few of the study techniques I’ve come up with:

  1. Read all of my notes. Like… all of them.
  2. Read all of the Barron’s Book.
  3. Find every single prompt on College Board and know how to answer it.
  4. Read the whole textbook??
  5.  ??????????????????????????

Yup. At this point I’m wondering if I’m even going to study at all. Actually, no I’m not, I most definitely will study.

I might actually go through with reading the Barron’s Book because it is a great resource for APUSH. It compiles topics within each period and has practice questions at the end of a section, which is very efficient for both multiple choice and writing portions. Along with receiving practice MC and prompts from my friend Joy, I am going to study College Board prompts- but certainly not every single one. I think it’ll also help if I go back over my notes for the chapters that I do not remember very well (*ahem RECONSTRUCTION cough cough*).

So maybe I do know what I’m going to do? I don’t know. I’m just trying to take it day by day. Thinking about how those shoes were thrown at George W. Bush’s head at that one conference always seems to cheer me up. HE JUST DUCKS SO QUICKLY, IT’S LIKE A DANCE MOVE! ¬†(As shown in the featured picture.) That and Jimmy Carter being attacked by a rabbit is just hilarious.

Anyways, sorry for the short post, but I really, really need to study. And if you’re also an AP student, why are you reading this? Do you want to fail at life? If you said no, go start studying. If you said yes, I’m glad you are conscious on your decision to fail. Good for you, you quitter.

Feedback is much appreciated, especially if you have some tips on dealing with AP exam jitters. And if you’re also facing an exam next week, I wish you the best of luck. May the odds be ever in your favor. (And whoever the poor soul is that gets my history teacher as their reader…. I am sorry. There’s no good that will come out of that misfortune. Might as well drop out, I guess?)

As a little treat, here’s a video my history teacher showed my class to help with inspiration: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCytpPACEk0 It made me laugh a lot.

See you guys next week! Love ya bunches!

~Vannah Smalley

P.S. FBAWTFT Update: 565 days! That means 200 more days until one year! I’m soooo excited!! Also, J.K. Rowling replied to a tweet asking about what Newt’s patronus was and she said it was a “big spoiler” for the next movie. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??!?!? I’m terrible at guessing, but if I were to pick a patronus for Newt, it would be…..either a dragon or a swan, simply from what I’ve heard from other speculators. I can talk more about that in my FBAWTFT post. ‚̧

Stories About the Most Stupid Honors Student Ever

(Me and my friend HG Just love laughing about how goofy I am!!!!!)

Hey everyone! I’m back for another week to talk about myself. (This blog thing is becoming a bit egocentric, isn’t it?)

But I think the topic for this week is something that a lot of you may be able to relate to.  So, please, enjoy me talking about my overwhelming stupidity despite being an honors student:

(Disclaimer: I’m 1000% not doing this to brag at all I’m just informing you so you can laugh how ironic it is that I’m actually really stupid.) Since I’ve started school, I’ve always had All A’s. I am usually a part of the few students who are at the top of the class because I work really hard on everything that I do, and I just generally have a competitive nature that makes me want to succeed. I love to write, read books, and learn everything that I can. So you could say that I have some book smarts. Street smarts, on the other hand, are a different story.


I had an incident this past week that epitomized every single thing that goes wrong with my brain in a daily basis, which is usually just brain farts and overthinking literally everything. So, basically, last Friday, me and my friends were in my car in the school parking lot about to leave to go to my house and watch Fantastic Beasts (of course) and a few of our other favorite shows with our friend Joy, who was visiting from Kentucky. My friends, Hallie Grace and Liam, were laughing and talking about things, and I was listening to them as I absentmindedly put the key in the ignition and tried to turn it. Thinking I had the car on, I put it in reverse and pressed on the gas to try and back up and out of the parking lot, but the car didn’t go anywhere. I turned down the radio and listened to hear if the car was running, and I noticed it wasn’t so I tried to turn the key again. It didn’t crank at all, but I did hear a tiny click that made me think it was trying to start but couldn’t. That’s when I assumed something was wrong.

I told my friends, and they got out of the car to keep from burning up on the black leather in 80 degree heat. I kept trying to turn the key, but nothing would work. I also noticed that there was a lot of lights flickering on the dashboard every time I turned the key that meant things like “Engine Malfunction” and “Oil Level Low”, which only managed to freak me out more. Then, my friend Avery came over and offered to jump me off, something that I’ve saw my mother do a thousand times but never actually done it myself. I wasn’t comfortable with us doing it without an adult, so I called my mom and asked her to come help.

Before she could get there, my friend Lizzie’s dad arrived to pick her up and stopped to jump the car off with his own cables. We tried several times and it still didn’t work. My mom showed up and then, after some more futile attempts, we decided to just tow the car and let a mechanic figure out what it was.

This entire time I was sitting in the driver seat of my car, turning the key when told to do so. When my mom arrived, I got out and started to move all of my belongings into my mom’s car. I turned around once I heard my car’s engine start up.

Turns out, I neglected to put the car back in park before trying to start it up, so it was in reverse the entire time.

Yes, I know. I’m stupid.

It was super, super embarrassing for me, but of course my friends understood that that’s just how I am. I do really stupid things all the time.

Here are some examples:

  1. A couple of months ago I tried to pump gas into my own car for like one of the first times (I was always the one who took the money inside, never the pumper) while my dad cleaned off my windshield. When it was time to take the nozzle out, I tried to unlatch the clicker (the one that keeps the gas flowing even if you’re not holding it) by gripping the nozzle tighter. But then I also decided to pull it out at the same time because I didn’t want the price running over what my dad paid. The result was gas continuing to flow out and all over my clothes and shoes. My dad freaked and rushed to get me home before I  caught on fire or was poisoned by the fumes.
  2.  My friend Hallie Grace has an extremely confusing neighborhood (at least it is to me) so once I was able to find a route to and from her house that I knew well, I stuck with that one every time I took her home. One of the first times I did, she and her brother made fun of me for it, since it was literally the longest and complicated way to get to their house. So, after I dropped her off (it was at night btw), I tried to find a new way out and proceeded to get lost in her neighborhood for almost 15 minutes.
  3. My history teacher does review quizzes on things that we’ve studied throughout the year, which are often pretty easy to me because I liked a lot of the older US History stuff. Especially things dealing with Alexander Hamilton because Hamilton is probably my favorite musical to ever exist. So, when she asked, “Who was George Washington’s Secretary of the Treasury?”, it was expected that I get that one right because OBVIOUSLY. But no, I put down Thomas Jefferson instead of Alexander Hamilton. Trust me, after I realized what I had done, I had never felt more disappointed in myself in my entire life. Good news is, though, I will never get that question wrong again.
  4. I was at an art festival in town one time with Joy, and we were walking around glancing at all the artwork, debating about buying anything from the vendors. Now, those artists can be pretty persuasive when trying to get customers to purchase their work. So, when I stopped at a vendor that had a beautiful normal-sized picture frame holding a watercolor painting of pandas, I figured I could check the price and, if it was low enough, buy it. Well, it was EIGHTY DOLLARS. I immediately tried to escape, but the vendor asked me if I was interested and offered to bargain with however much I had. I truthfully told him I had $40 (don’t ask why ’cause I don’t remember), and he said he would take it. And I bought it. (I hate myself.)
  5. Branching off the previous story, usually every time I go to the anime convention here in my area, I always buy something that I regret. One of the most memorable of these purchases was three pairs of earrings: a Kirby with headphones pair, a Gunther pair (the penguin from Adventure Time), and a chibi America pair (the humanized version from Hetalia) all for a whopping $40. I never wore any of them.
  6. Going back a little further to the time where me and my sister went mud riding on our four-wheeler and got stuck. My sister told me to push on the back while she revved the engine. After a minute of pushing as hard as I could, the wheels were loose and she started driving. Little did she know I was still holding onto the rail on the back, so she was dragging me with her on the sticks and thorns of the forest floor. It ripped my shorts and cut a pretty big scar on my thigh. Pretty stupid move on my part.

And there’s like a thousand other smaller things, like trying to turn on my printer when it isn’t even plugged in, turning on the oven and forgetting to put something in it, and -my personal favorite- trying to roll the windows up when I’ve already turned the car off. (I do this literally everyday.)

So, yeah. I do not have the brains when it comes to street smarts. But that’s okay, I think it just adds to my character. Besides, how fun would it be if someone was extremely smart in both aspects? It’s not a life if you don’t goof up sometimes. And I goof up a whole lot. There should be another Goofy Movie made about me. I would win awards for my goofiness.

Thanks so much for giving this a read, I really do appreciate it. I’m having a lot of fun writing these every week, but that’s only because I’ve somehow managed to come up with topics. I will most definitely run out soon, so if you’d like to suggest anything, comment below or find me on my social media.

Love you bunches! ‚̧

~Vannah Smalley

I got a lot of inspiration for this post from this Buzzfeed article here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/remeepatel/things-you-know-if-youre-smart-but-not-super-smart?utm_term=.aqeWZE3nq&bffbbooks#.rkgnw7Md1

Fantastic Beasts Update: We have a total of 579 days until the next movie!!! It gets closer and closer every week! Also, I stayed up until 5:00 am last night writing the prologue of a Newt x Tina fanfiction that’s been stuck in my head, and I definitely plan on writing more. It probably will not be posted for several months, but I thought I’d just mention it. And I think I will be writing an all FBAWTFT post in a few weeks, so be prepared for that! And btw I love you guys who read this the most b/c you actually care about Fantastic Beasts  or my love for it and that makes me happy :’)

Fictional Character Obsession

Hi guys! Glad you decided to check out my page again. I guess this can be our special¬†thing, now? ….And….you’ve left.

Today I want to talk about something that lot of people will not understand unless you really, really like books. Or… imaginative universes. As I said in my intro, I love to read and watch movies/TV shows with my dad. It’s something about these fictional universes that just pull me in. I get super attached to characters and their relationships with one another, so much that, when it ends, I will bawl my eyes out for days. Eventually I get over it, but some are harder to get past…like the one I’m dealing with this week.

Now, if you have met me before, you might already know that I’m a big¬†Harry Potter¬†fan. I grew up on the entire story: I read (and wrote) loads of Draco/OG character fanfiction, I worshiped Hermione Granger, and I fell in love with Ginny and Harry’s cute relationship. So, of course, when¬†Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them¬†came out in November 2016, I had to go see it. I loved it just as everyone else did, and I already began to notice how much I cared for Newt and Tina’s relationship. (Because who wouldn’t? They’re both precious cinnamon rolls.) I didn’t dwell on it too much, though, ’cause I had a lot going on at the time, rarely enough for another obsession.

Well, I watched it for the second time last Friday with my dad and….. I freaked. I completely fell in love with Newt and Tina, but, more specifically, Newt. Quickly after, I started reading the fanfiction. (I know, I know. Big mistake.) Now, it’s all I do with my free time, and I’m starting to think that this obsession might not fade out like the others.

(And before you click off, no, I’m not going to write this entire post about how much I love Newt, even though I very well could. This is just a transition.)

The point is that my life can become extremely monotonous and unhappy without finding something to obsess about. Before now, I had really nothing that I looked forward to at the end of the day, just homework and maybe watching the one SacconeJoly vlog that’s uploaded daily, but besides that… nothing. (A nerd’s life is a lot different than other people’s, I suppose.)

Although my obsession may be pretty extreme, and it sometimes disrupts the time I’ve saved for my homework, it truly makes me happy at the end of the day. So happy that sometimes looking at Eddie Redmayne’s (Newt’s) eyes makes me want to shoot myself in the head because they’re so beautiful, but still.. happy. Even though everyone around me gets annoyed when I talk about it so much, I know that they will accept it if they know I’m happy.

The whole theme of this post is to not let yourself feel bad about having an obsession (unless it’s truly unhealthy for you). Whether it’s a book, movie, TV show, sport, famous person (don’t be a stalker tho), or a fictional character that has the cutest floofy auburn hair and sweetest smile that ever did exist, don’t give up on it. Your obsessions, your likes, and your dislikes all make you who you are. Besides, it might give you insight on what you actually want for yourself in the future.

Also, don’t be afraid to let your crazy show. Throughout all 16 years of my eventful life (lol not), I have been worried about whether I’m acting WAY too energetic and insane about something that excites me. And I actually was. A lot of people have told me. It’s kinda sad actually. But I am never going to let something or someone stop me from showing my happiness, and none of my friends will either. The key is to meet people who will understand your crazy and accept it, even if they don’t particularly care for whatever you’re freaking out about. Then, when they have their ecstatic moments, you can give them the same courtesy.

And I promise, if you’re obsessing about a fictional character like I am, YOU WILL BE OKAY. Even though they are not real, there very well could be someone out there who is darn close to what you’re looking for. (Please God, give me a Newt Scamander!)

I really enjoyed writing this post for you guys. I’m sorry to all my pessimistic emo readers out there who hate inspirational stuff, but that’s just how I am. As you can tell, I’m not the most eloquent writer. In fact, I really just take whatever sentimental and gooey mess that’s up there in my head and plop it onto the internet for y’all to read. Ya feel?

I’ll see ya next Saturday! Love ya bunches! ‚̧

~Vannah Smalley

p.s. You guys like the picture up there? Yeah, me too. For those of you who do, let me know if you'd actually like me to write a whole post about Fantastic Beasts/Newt/Tina/Newtina because I freaking WILL. Like.. faster than you can say "Pickett the Bowtruckle!" ūüėČ